p.s this journal is partially locked, friends only.

Times like these i feel like; wouldn't it just be easier to stop breathing.
i read something somewhere before one, we're born,
we guard our little insignificant lives all our life just to die.
honestly how silly is that? we grow up we slog half our lives just to survive.
getting through day after day in repetitive motions. this becoming more eident as you grow.

It is not that i feel sucidal. It's just, what is the point?
some could say for family, friends or even love.
time heals everything, the cruel thing. lives go on eventually.
no one would care ultimately everyone is just too pre-occupied with their own little lives.

I came to terms with myself,which is to be happy.
I am a simpleton, i honestly dont think. I dont want to think.
reason being, the wise are sad people. I am what you would call a coward.
I want to be in my own happy bubble. There are times i do wonder more.
But it just fades as quickly as it comes.

If i could I would live in a mystical world far away from everyone.
That way I wouldnt cause anyone hurt, disappointment,
anger or even hatred amongst the people i know.
I have probably done that to many people now.



it is sad but,
I have been deluding myself so much.
I am happy to a certain extent,
but on the flipside i am an equally sad individual as well.
its just i try to focus more on the happier things.

I just keep doing things wrong. perhaps it's not working out.
I am not contributing, as you have said aplenty.
I try but I fail, " it's all surface" you say.
if i dont even know what i am doing in the first place,
how do you judge? perhaps in the over emotional state i am in i may be rambling.
But times like these I dont even want to do anything.

In fact, though it is stupid and cheesy and lame etc,
i rather you leave me for someone better
as i am not on par with your level of intellect/thinking
no matter what i do or seem to do fails.
it's been almost 2 years, what makes you think it's going to get any better?

Hi there, its been long.

well, i have no idea what compelled me to even come back here.
maybe its because i think i should be writing more again.
or maybe, its to hopefully document my progression in life.
or maybe, its a different reason of sorts.

today art of story was rather fun,
got to do analysis of stories and stuff.
however school as a whole was rather boring,
meeting rox,ethan and co for a while juiced it up a little.
talking to pinky bout things in general.
accidently getting a mini shock in the late afternoon.

i lead a rather boring life now i should think.
oh well, back to minecraft or something else.

meanwhile....

 

young and confused and high and low and loud and awkward
and strange and mesmerized and regretful and insecure and tired.

hello lj! long time no see! (:
life has just been awesome much!
morning,school,out,home. getting my grades.
meeting friends and such. nothing really spectacular though.
except for recently. on form-spring really interesting stuff.
some people wanted to get my attention asking me really weird questions.
and some also sensitive questions. as i have posted below:



i read it, and had quite a laugh.
starting with the grand first question (one of the key questions)
waterbed. ahh yes i do actually remember it, good old days,
i used to date this boy who owned a waterbed thats about that.
besides him being in the same class as me now.

second question, regarding me being a racist, which is quite stupid.
this remark was made to shabnam from my class. as a bloody joke.
i apologised profusely after sensing her distress. and even saying no hard feelings.
NOT as if muslims dont make fun of chinese and so on and so forth.

followed by the simon joseph question,
why dont you go ask him? not that i really care.
if or if he wasnt. here's his blog, im pretty much sure he has a shitload to say to you.
and i for one dont take any responsibility for what he says. kthx.

lastly, me being a dense person, i may or may not be.
who's to say? you may be the stupid, ignorant and vacuous person.
but all the more, taking and wasting few minutes of your life to call me stupid.
that makes it all more debatable on how stupid you yourself is.

okay thats all for naos, back to my happy bubble :D
byeee!

she’s heaven on the eyes,
but boy she’s hell on the heart.
therefore sate our undisclosed desires.
smoke and we sing until we’re gone.

http://formspring.me/euodia